Monday, May 18, 2015

Republican Rules of the Road

Republican Rule 1: Truth is whatever you like. If you don’t like the truth just ignore it and pretend the truth is whatever you like better.

(NYTimes explains how Texas revises the truth in America's textbooks.)

Republican Rule 1, subsection A: Anyone who refuses to share my intolerance is a bigot.

(Jeb Bush actually said this.)

Republican Rule 2: Money is truth. If you’re rich and scientists find that your company is making steeples fall off churches and groceries fall of shelves you can get the university to fire them.

(Reported in Bloomberg)

Republican Rule 3: The truth about America is always wonderful and happy and perfect and holy. The history that talks about slavery and stealing the continent from the Native Americans is simply false. And, by the way, Wyatt Earp didn’t take the guns away from the patriotic citizens in Tombstone.

(In Salon)

Republican Rule 4: If the state history test is saying bad things about America you can just change the answers. And then you can wish the historians who wrote the test into the cornfield. America is always perfect. See Rule 3, above.

(This happened in New Jersey)

Republican Rule 5: Science is confusing and sometimes figures new stuff out, so it’s obviously not true and you can ignore it. God never changes his mind.

(And if you don't understand the scientific method it does look confusing)

Republican Rule 6: When God (or his representatives on earth) are making you feel confused, seek help from your corporate overlord. He will have the answers. Safest to ignore the parts of the New Testament which say we need to take care of the poor. Better yet, ignore the New Testament because Jesus was obviously a socialist.

(Salon again, how the Pope is making GOP heads explode)

(And from Politico, another take on the Pope and American conservatives.)

Republican Rule 7: The best employees are either slaves or robots.

(From the NYTimes)

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